Dictator Kim Jong-un controlled the weather as he scaled a 9,000ft sacred mountain wearing just black leather shoes, North Korea’s state media claim.
The case for the North Korean leader’s cameo role in a new X-Men movie came during a brisk two-mile stroll up snowy Mount Paektu a week or so ago, as reported by the state-controlled Korean Central News Agency.
The 9,000-foot mountain is normally a wintry mess in December, according to the news agency, but during Kim’s visit, it was a “marvelous scene with glee at the reappearance of its great master.” When Kim ascended to the top, the mountain showed “fine weather unprecedented.”
There was a blizzard but Kim ‘controlled nature’ during the climb, as the nasty weather conditions cleared and made way for “dazzling sunshine” and clear blue skies, state media said.
The report claims the mountain offered a “warm welcome” to the dictator as it showed “joy at the appearance of the peerlessly illustrious commander who controls nature”. It was obviously an homage to Kim, KCNA reported, the man “who controls the nature.”
KCNA and other state-sponsored media are known for making claims about North Korea’s leaders that range from mild exaggeration to “Chronicles of Narnia.”
- Kim Jong Un and Korean scientists formulated a miracle drug, according to Newsweek — a combination of ginseng and “rare earth elements” that, with one injection, can cure or treat AIDS, Ebola, many cancers, heart disease, impotence, the common cold, “harm from use of computers,” epilepsy, all forms of hepatitis, venereal disease and aging. It also, for some reason, renders its users “anti-radioactive.”
- Kim Jong Un could drive at age 3 and was a competitive sailor at age 9.
- Kim Jong Un and North Korean archaeologists also found a unicorn’s lair, or at least “recently reconfirmed” the location of unicorns ridden by the ancient Korean King Tongmyong, according to the Guardian. If people are distrustful of the discovery, it has a rectangular rock in front that reads: “Unicorn Lair.”
- Korean news agencies reported that Kim’s father, Kim Jong Il, learned to walk at three weeks old and once shot a round of golf that included 11 holes-in-one.
- People surprised by his greatness should only remember the day he was born, when a double rainbow suddenly appeared in the sky.
- Also, Kim Jong Il could control the weather, too.
North Korea has made many incredulous claims about the powers of leader Kim Jong Un and his family. Now it’s boasted of the greatest yet: He can control the weather.